Jordan had been working at Pita Palace for exactly 204 days, 3 hours, and 27 minutes—not that they were counting. But when you’ve folded enough shawarma wraps to feed a music festival crowd, your brain starts doing weird calculations. Like how many times the soda machine has betrayed you. Or how long you’ve been stuck at $12.50 an hour while Carl, who once confused hummus with whipped cream, made $13.75.
So Jordan decided it was time. Time for the ultimate boss battle: Negotiation 101.
“Dude,” said Maya, their co-worker and chaotic good energy incarnate, “you should totally ask for a raise. You’re like, the wrap whisperer.”
Jordan snorted. “Yeah, and I whisper myself right into a raise?”
Maya gave a dramatic eye-roll. “No, dummy. You do research. Like… facts. Stats. Whatever adults do.”
Fueled by a toxic combo of underpaid frustration and leftover falafel, Jordan went home and did what any Gen Z hero would: Googled “how to ask for a raise without throwing up.”
Results varied, but a few things stuck. Have a list of accomplishments. Time it right. Be confident. Don’t cry. Cool, cool, cool.
Monday came fast. Jordan wore their “serious adult” outfit: button-down, neutral-toned pants, and an aura of mild panic. They rehearsed in the mirror at least fourteen times. “Hi, I’d like to talk about my compensation.” Too stiff. “Yo, can I get a raise?” Too casual. “Boss, I’m worth more than Carl.” Too homicidal.
The moment arrived. Jordan knocked on their manager’s office door like it was the gates of Mordor.
“Hey, Jordan! What’s up?” said Lindsay, the manager with a permanent coffee cup and resting spreadsheet face.
Here it goes.
“So, I wanted to talk to you about…uh…well, about my role here and my growth and—”
“Are you quitting?”
“What? No! I mean, unless you’re offering severance, then we can discuss—wait, no. I mean, I love it here.”
Lindsay raised an eyebrow.
Jordan inhaled deeply. Negotiation 101, remember?
“I’ve been here for over six months. I’ve taken on closing shifts, trained three new people, and never once microwaved metal in the breakroom. I think I’ve shown I add value to the team, and I wanted to ask if a raise is something we can talk about.”
There. Said it. No tears. No vomiting. Just slight sweating.
Lindsay leaned back, sipping from her coffee like it held the answer to life. “I appreciate you bringing this up. Let me talk to HR and see what flexibility we have. You’ve definitely been doing great work.”
Jordan blinked. That… wasn’t a no?
Walking out, they felt like a champion. Like they’d just won a mildly awkward Olympic event. Negotiation 101 wasn’t so bad after all.
Three days later, Lindsay pulled them aside. “Good news. We’re bumping you to $14.25 an hour, starting next paycheck.”
Jordan blinked. “I got the raise? Like… really?”
“Yep. Your ask was professional and well-timed. HR said yes.”
Cue internal confetti cannons.
That night, Jordan texted Maya:
Jordan: Guess who’s making more money than Carl now?
Maya: THE WRAP WHISPERER RISES.
Mastering Negotiation 101
Final Reflection
Negotiation 101 is less about having all the answers and more about showing up prepared, knowing your worth, and not letting fear hold the mic. Jordan didn’t need a fancy degree—just the guts to start the conversation. And hey, turns out even falafel folders deserve a raise.
Now, who’s brave enough to ask for guac without the extra charge?
